I have started to write again after a two week break. It has been a challenging couple of years, but I have hope. I refuse to let my illness stop me from accomplishing all that I want to, it just may have to be at a reduced pace. According to many of my friends and family, this will not be a bad thing.
Here is one of the pieces that came out. It is about my struggle with Lyme and my Mema’s struggle battling Lymphoma.
A work in progress…
In these moments before waking there is a stillness
that permeates my senses. It is a sort of meditation
when the critic and the sceptic inside my head have no voice,
as if they haven’t woken yet.
Too long I sit and ponder their moods.
Upon waking I know that these old friends
will swiftly follow. The change is marked
by the increased tension in my mandible.
The possibility of sitting with these two
all day, occasionally drives me back to my pillow.
The soft inhale, exhale of rest. Burrowing
into the soft comfort of dreams.
I dreamt of the cure for all we suffer from,
and we danced in meadows without the pain we have
known for decades. Your hands held mine and we
circled the relief with cackling that carried beyond us.
There was no need to be strong, courageous,
just this. Enjoying the sun on our faces
and the sweet smell of Wisteria in the air.
But as I woke, you were not there,
and I lay in a bed feeling the pressure
of this affliction that confines me.
I have to believe
that dreams keep us from breaking.